THE EYE OF A TESTICLE

Burt Reynolds smiles into the eye of a sheep,

this reminds him of his own testicles

that urgently need unloading.

He blinks and turns away from the sheep

then looks back at it.

A moment passes.

He jumps over a nearby fence into 

private land.

Knocks on a lime green door surrounded by rhododendrons

and enjoys the fuchsia petals and the light fragrance
that appears whilst he waits.

The door opens and an old man with no hair 

and a gluttonous stomach looks at him

"What can I do for you?"

"I need to borrow your wife"

"What for?"

'To relieve the stress knotted up in my aching balls"

"What the ffff fffuck, you ffff  fffucking fffuck"

The old man clenches his fist and his face turns the colour of Merlot wine.  

Burt takes a step back and turns to walk away.

The man chases him.

Burt runs and jumps over the fence
in one swift move.

There's a loud crash behind him.
The old man didn't make the jump.

Burt tries hiding behind a flock of sheep
and waits to go back inside the garden of the old man with the
gluttonous stomach.

He wants to pick a handful of rhododendrons

to give to his wife.

Heaven knows, she deserves them.