I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library- Jorge Borges

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Food Porn

Oh my, look at you.  Utterly inviting with your thickness, and full-fat creaminess on display, you’re certainly no introvert. I crave to open the taste of your sweet unhealthiness like some sinewy-armed hooker, cheaply sexing her body for a bout of smack.

 My nostrils widen, and my eyes burn through you like a tiger honing in on its next prey.  I’m trying to calm the salvia that’s befriending my mouth, tame myself, and cautiously savour this moment, make this moment last for as long as possible. But oh Lordy it’s difficult!  You seduce me, like a taboo creature of darkness, I don’t know how to take you on, do I delicately pick the berries off first, and suckle on them like a Freudian child. Or like a lady of sophistication do I cut a slice, and feed myself with a silver spoon? No that’s not me.  I must act accordingly; you look fun, so I must eat you in a flurry of fun.
I look at your sculptured body in all its calorific glory and glance down at my body, and feel a pang of guilt, but with guilt comes denial and justification and so I tell myself ‘I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs, and I rarely drink, so let me satisfy my soul with you.’ So with a smile on my face, and a plastic spoon in the hand I take you, I take you to my mouth and my body, and begin to feel  you intoxicate my senses like a beautiful sea of sperm.  
My contentment lies in the consumption of YOU.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

The Breathe of Life.

To Fart is to reaffirm existance.

Farting is truth you see. In farting we liberate the deepest secret of our internal workings, the noises and smells of our hidden systems as they continually work to keep us existing on this astonishing earth. When we hear a fart it is not just a flat inexpressive noise, no, it is much more, it is the voice of our stomachs, the language of our intestines, it is their song... a symphonic chorus of joyous farting.

Farting is a language not bound to words. When speaking verbally our meaning is constrained by our own language, we cannot express anything beyond the words which our language gives us. But with farts we are able to experience different levels of meaning, like music. Music speaks to us in a way language cannot, it speaks to our soul without the need of words and we create profound connections with it. Here lies the truth and beauty of farts: They offer us a way of communicating that releases us from the shackles of words, a fart can mean infinite things, love, hate, passion, indifference, comfort...so let it speak.

Farting is a communication of the senses: of sound, and smell, it seduces our olfactory senses to the same degree of a crimson rose in summer. Within our social constructs we are conditioned to believe that the smell of a rose is to smell beauty itself, and to smell a fart is to smell repulsion and disgust, but let us today break down these barriers and proclaim with certainty of mind that “a fart by any other name would smell as sweet!”

Farting is the language for life, as infants, before we take on a verbal language we communicate by means of our passing winds, we fart and we fart and we fart, until the horrid, appalling event takes place in our lives..the chastity of the fart or ‘fart shame’ as it is subversively known as. This is when we are ‘taught’ that farting is a ‘dirty’, ‘sinful’ thing, oh lord, how it makes my soul ache to hear this. It is only later on in death that we return to the truth of our infant lives, when we pass away we still fart, after our heart has desisted its once perpetual beatings we still release them..it is the secret language of the dead...releasing their final breath after the soul has departed...perhaps it is itself the departing ascension of the soul.. 

We can also learn a lot about ones character through their response to farting, for example some people love the smell of their own farts, but not others. How self-adulating! Well to those people, I condemn you, and I hope one day you'll meet a person where you wish to dive under the covers and breathe, breathe deep to inhale the beautiful  smell of their back passage, and then you my dear, will be redeemed from shelfishness.

So, my guidance to you all, in future do not twist your noses away from a fart, no, instead, open your nostrils, open them wide, and breath it all in. In doing so, you are embracing the fart, its beauty, and ultimately...what it is to be human.

I fart, therefore I am.

Friday, 10 September 2010


In the silence of unspoken words,
Do your thoughts get louder?

When you’re alone,
Do you want to silence the silent?

When you’re thinking,
Do you do it without thought?

When you write,
Do you think of the trees
By writing on the walls?

Call it a wall of thought.

When you have a mental block,
Do you call it a thought full of

No escape,
No thoughts,
Just walls.

The Bird

He had noble hair
And a mustache that spoke experience.
He wore clothes that ruled with smartness
And a smile that spread unforced.
With eyes that harvested both light and truth,
I knew he’d never want me.
So I took his bird in

[Artwork by Ki Yoong]

Into the Wind

Dance with me
In the pouring,
Roaring wind.

Open your mouth wide open
And swallow its




Feel it give a deep, wild,