I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library- Jorge Borges

Monday, 11 October 2010

False Advertisement.

In his retiring manner Bill strolled into class, and expecting to see his creative writing class it came as a surprise when he was greeted with a class full of unrecognisable faces. But instead of attending to his surprise, he nonchalantly brushed it aside by taking a seat in the class to merge with the newbies. His arrival stirred no raised eyebrows since it was still the first week of uni. Various smiles, and hung-over expressions outlined the tables.
    Still set in sleep mode, a disproportionate amount of time was spent with a glazed look over his face. Thoughts drifted to the patchy accounts of the night before and to the content of his fridge, which homed a sorry supply of beer. Inexcusable since he'd taken advantage of coupons which entitled him to a ‘buy one get one free offer’ and every so often his attention would revert back to the class and each time he did, he would be comforted by discussions which made him curiously glad that he had taken a seat in this unknown territory.
    Bill glanced at his neighbour’s module handbook which was entitled Advertising. It went against his believes of consumerism; having enough unwanted clothes, gimmicky buys, and skint related aneurysms to learn that the art of media persuasion was bullshit not to be bought. But he was comforted with statements like ‘Making things that make people happy’, and although blurred with skepticism, the thought of making others happy pinched him with contentment. Maybe if Bill had been feeling cynical he would have thought a degree in Advertising would be sucking Satan’s cock, but he wasn’t and the debate with his inner self justified that he could do good things with advertising.
    The layout of the classroom was such that the students sat in a ‘U shape’, a layout which allowed Bill to get acquainted with the various faces without struggle. None of the faces were particularly striking to Bill, aside from two. One guy had a prehistoric look, like he was missing several genetic links in the evolution stage. And then sat quietly among all the erection killers, there was a girl who sent his imagination into pockets of deep filth.
    After the two hours were up he approached the teacher who had the register, and whether Bill had advertising in mind, the curiosity of the unknown, or the girl, his pen appeared before the sheet, and without little analysis of consequence, his name was added to the list, along with the final thought it's just a ride.


  1. This is a cool story. Bill Hicks is a hero of mine, and I like the way you put him in quite a mundane situation and then play lots of games with his position in class etc

    The main point that doesn't work for me is the narrator. Her voice is quite mannered, and I didn't feel the story called for that.

    'his appearance could probably be salvaged with a daily shave, and an up-right emendation to his shrugged shoulders, which looked burdened by an extra gravitational force' - though there's nothing wrong with the sentence on its own, when put in the context of story it seems too stuffy.

    So, I think with this story you could try and match the relaxed, casual style that Bill uses himself in the clip.

    Anyway mucho respecto for the hicks reference - Everyone in advertising suck a tail pipe!!

  2. I agree with you, I dislike that 'stuffy' sentence too, I was just too lazy to strip it, but I probably will now.

    Naturally my style is quite mannered, so thanks for reminding me that I need to play around with narration.

    Yeh I fantasise about Hicks all the time.

    Do you write a lot?

  3. Yeah, I'm writing quite a lot at the moment. Done lots of courses of a seriously questionable standard - a degree at Roehampton that I hated for example, and then Birkbeck sucked, and then so did City Lit.

    One that I really like though, is Gotham Writers' workshop online.

    Are you doing a degree? How do your teachers find you smuggling porn into your stories lol?

  4. Ha ha you've done your fair share of courses it seems! I'll note Gotham Writers, merci.

    Yeh I've just started a degree in Creative Writing... enjoyable so far, whilst having a pinch of cringeworthy! Oh I think the teachers invite the smuggling... especially the female tutors :)